Week 5 was mostly about one thing
Two weeks in a row now. The league holiday calendar is getting crowded. Everything else that happened this week happened around it.
The scoreboard
Joe 139.46, DJ 126.40. DJ is on a two-game losing streak. Puka Nacua put up 37.7 for Joe and that was that. DJ also had the 49ers D/ST on his bench going for 20 and started the Bengals D/ST for 10. He made zero transactions this week. Didn't touch his roster, didn't fix the defense, just sat there and lost. Malik Nabers went for 29.1 and it didn't matter. DJ is 3-2 with the fifth-best record and the sixth-best points. The vibes are finally catching up.
Sean 150.44, Tanner 143.32. Highest score of the week. Jaylen Warren 36.8. Sean also left Pat Freiermuth and his 21.5 on the bench while starting Jake Ferguson for 4.9, and still won. Tanner started DJ Moore in the flex. DJ Moore was OUT. DJ Moore scored 0. Tanner lost by 7.12. Kyle Pitts scored 15.2 on his bench. Four straight losses now and the commissioner hasn't stepped in to help, which is the first week all year Rudy hasn't done him a favor.
Marcellus 149.14, Culley 117.10. Bucky Irving 31.5. Christian Watson went for 32.3 for Culley and he still lost by 32. Culley is 1-4.
Cheston 137.98, Zac 97.94. Biggest blowout of the week. Cheston is 5-0 and started CeeDee Lamb, who scored 2.9. Didn't matter. Zac had the lowest score of anybody who didn't lose to me.
Rudy 128.38, Bill 107.12. Jahmyr Gibbs 37.7. Bill left Drake Maye and 39.46 points on his bench. More on that below.
Nathan 111.04, Dan 91.66. I scored 111.04 and won. Three teams in this league would have lost to my score. I won anyway because I played Dan, who scored 91.66. I'm not proud. I'm 3-2 and my points rank 12th out of 14 and I know exactly what that means.
Wyatt 118.46, Daniel 112.70. Closest game of the week, 5.76. Daniel started the Raiders D/ST. They scored negative six.
Bill's bench
Bill started Bo Nix. Bo Nix scored 7.92. Drake Maye scored 39.46 on his bench. That's 31.54 points, the worst gap in the league this week.
Bill lost by 21.26. Starting Maye wins him the game by ten. He doesn't lose to Rudy, Rudy isn't 4-1, and we're all having a better Tuesday.
Daniel also would've won by swapping his way out of the Raiders. Tanner would've won by starting literally any healthy human in that flex. Dan would've won too, and his was a 20-point gap on a 91-point week.
The chug list
Dan. Roman Wilson at WR, zero. Cowboys D/ST, negative two. That's two. Shirt off, two beers.
Tanner. DJ Moore in the flex, zero. The chat is waiting.
Daniel. Raiders D/ST, negative six. That counts.
Luck
Tanner scored 143.32 and would've beaten 11 of the other 13 teams. He drew Sean. He's 1-4 with the seventh-most points in the league, a four-spot gap, and he's still the league's saddest story.
I scored 111.04, would've beaten 3 of 13, and won. My season gap is six. I'm 3-2 and I've earned none of it. Dan is the other way, 2-3 with the worst points in the league, so the robot would at least have something to work with.
The wire
Rudy made seven moves. Seven adds, seven drops. He also dropped Mike Washington Jr. on Wed, Oct 7 and picked him back up on Thu, Oct 8. Our commissioner. The guy who approves trades.
Two trades went through.
Rudy sent Keaton Mitchell's way, got Will Shipley to Culley on Fri, Oct 9. Shipley is now DOUBTFUL and scored 8.3 on Culley's bench. Fine trade, nothing happening here.
Dan got Wan'Dale Robinson from me for RJ Harvey on Tue, Oct 6. Wan'Dale scored 11.3 on Dan's bench in a game he lost by 19.38. To me. I'll take it.
DJ and Tanner made zero moves all week. Both lost.
Injury desk
Tanner has Lamar Jackson OUT and DJ Moore OUT. That's a quarterback and a flex gone into next week.
Dan has David Montgomery DOUBTFUL and Roman Wilson still OUT. Both started last week. One of them scored zero.
Wyatt has Jaxon Smith-Njigba QUESTIONABLE, which is his best player, plus Breece Hall OUT.
Cheston has CeeDee Lamb and Quinshon Judkins both QUESTIONABLE and Tyreek Hill OUT. He's 5-0 and this is the first thing that's gone against him.
Rudy's Tre' Harris is DOUBTFUL. He started him in the flex for 3.6 points while MarShawn Lloyd scored 16.7 on the bench.
Playoff picture
Cheston 100 percent. Wyatt 98, Rudy 97, Marcellus 92. That's the top of the board and it's not close.
DJ 83 percent, which I refuse to accept. Daniel 74. Me 56, which is generous given I'm 12th in scoring.
Sean 49. Tanner 34. Culley 29, Joe 28, Dan 22, Zac 20, Bill 18.
Bill, Zac, Culley all sitting at 1-4 with nine weeks left. Technically fine. Practically, you know.
Next week
Rudy vs Cheston. Undefeated against the commissioner, and I want the 5-0 team to win just to see Rudy's face.
DJ vs Tanner. Two guys on losing streaks who made no moves. One of them has to win and I hope it's the one marrying the commissioner.
Marcellus vs Sean. Sean put up 150 and I still think Marcellus wins.
Nathan vs Culley. I'm 12th in points and Culley is 1-4. Somebody's going to score 95.
Daniel vs Dan. Daniel is fourth in points at 2-3, Dan is 14th in points at 2-3. Make that make sense.
Bill vs Wyatt. Start Drake Maye, Bill.
Zac vs Joe. Joe just scored 139 and Zac just scored 97.94.